I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”


part of me wants to do really well in school and get an amazing job and the other part of me just wants to lie on the floor and do nothing ever because i’m gonna die in the end anyway



The odds of being attacked by a shark in the US are 1 in 11,500,000, but no one gets mad at people who want to avoid the ocean.

The odds of a woman being sexually assaulted in her lifetime are 1 in 6, but if she doesn’t feel safe around strange men she’s a stereotyping bitch.

Strange old world we live in.



Complimenting an artistic friend’s work


being a pessimist is great i’m always either right or pleasantly surprised 

#the optimistic look on pessimism  


why the hell did we all learn the exact words

"the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell"



I watch this disturbing video every easter

The entirely pastel backgrounds are what make this a masterpiece. 


Just incase there’s a demon


Just incase there’s a demon


I just want to be slightly drunk, half naked, and completely on top of someone.

No you won’t find love in a,
Won’t find love in a hole.
It takes more than fucking someone
To keep yourself warm.
Frightened Rabbit, “Keep Yourself Warm” (via xoxobrennan)